Bleed
by Im.losing.hope
Summary: Alec writes a letter to Magnus, that he never intended on sending. It ends up being sent though, and before Alec could get it back it was too late. Alec/Magnus Rated K plus Slight Angst. Slash..


_A/n: Hey everyone! Here is a little something that I came up with while listening to 'Bleed' by Hot Chelle Rae. Its a really beautiful song.. And I totally recommend the song and band! _

_Anyway, not a lot of angst in this one.. so no one's dying/breaking up this time around, so that's good! And it probably has something to do with the weather.. its not the usual over cast rainy day but the oh-so rare sunny day! _

_So yeah, enjoy!_

_Third Person POV:_

It was getting late into the night, and Alexander Lightwood was sitting at the ornate desk that stood in one corner of his plain bedroom. The only light was the moonlight streaming in through the window. Alexander was writing on a piece of stationary paper that he had found in one of the kitchen drawers. Bleeding his heart out onto the paper. Writing the feelings that he couldn't say to someone special.

Why did this whole thing have to be complicated? This whole, 'love' thing? It didn't make sense to Alexander. He couldn't understand why he was feeling this way to someone he had only met just a short while ago.

But still, here he was. Professing his feelings in a letter that would never be sent. He couldn't send it. It would only end in catastrophe. And he didn't need that. He didn't think, his heart would be able to live through it.

He ran a hand through his jet black hair. He laid the pen down and stretched his fingers. They had become a little stiff from all the writing he had been writing.

There was many things in this letter, that he would never say aloud. He wouldn't be able to live through the embarrassment. But if he could just say these things in the letter, then that would be okay with him for now.

So with a sigh, he got up from the chair he was sitting in and left the letter on the desktop. He would put it in an envelope and put it somewhere in the morning. And act, as though he had never written that letter in the first place.

He walked over to his small, and lumpy bed and crawled underneath the blankets. He curled up and tried to get warm. Now, that he wasn't paying so much attention to his letter, he felt very cold.

_If only, that special person was here.. _the voice in his head sighed wistfully.

_No, don't even go there_, he told it.

He closed his eyes and willed for sleep to take him under.

Isabelle crept into Alec's bedroom quietly. He had come in here after dinner and didn't leave it once, that night. She wanted to know what was up with her big brother. She was slightly worried for him. Ever since the party a few weeks ago, he hadn't been acting the same. He had been acting more secretive and strange. It was starting to bug her.

She looked around his room. It wasn't much. But that's just how it was for Alec. He didn't bother painting his bedroom, or even get things to decorate it with. He was just a simple kind of guy.

She saw Alec lying, fast asleep in his much too small bed. One arm flung off the edge of the mattress and his other arm, above his head. The blankets bunched around his hips and pooled out around his legs and feet. To Isabelle, he looked much younger than his eighteen years.

In the corner of her eye, she saw something glint in the moonlight. Turning her head around fully, she saw a pen lying on top of something on his desk. Tentatively, she made her way over to the desk. She knew, she should not be poking around through his things. But if it was keeping Alec from being normal, then she wanted to know what was going on.

On the desk, laid a hand written letter. She was surprised, that Alec had a letter on his desk. Not many people sent letters anymore. There were quicker ways to get messages to people, like e-mail.

But, with a slightly shaking hand she picked up the letter. She recognized the hand writing as Alec's. At that moment, she felt as though she were about to read something that could possibly get her in jail. But she started to read it anyway.

_Dear Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, _

_Why must you make me feel this way about you? Why? Is all I ask. These new feelings terrify yet excite me. Its terrifying because, I know if the Clave find out about me, I could possibly get stripped of my marks. And I wouldn't know what to do without them. But, on the other hand these feelings make me feel different. A good kind of different. _

_And it, just blows my mind to think that someone like you has actually noticed me. Me, Alexander Lightwood. Just another teenage shadowhunter who is nothing special compared to his younger sister and adopted brother. Just ordinary. _

_And so, here I am late in the night staying awake long enough to bleed my feelings out on this piece of paper that will never be sent to you. And maybe, one day I'll be strong enough to tell you how much you mean to me. Even though we only just met a few weeks ago. But angel, those few weeks have been some of the best in my entire life._

_And I hope I'll be strong enough to tell my parents and the Clave about me, so I wouldn't have to hide who I am from any longer. Maybe, not anytime soon, but someday. So I can be with you. And only you. _

_Yours forever more,_

_Alexander Lightwood._

Isabelle didn't realize she was crying at her brother's letter until she felt the coldness on her cheeks. She wiped them away furiously and laid the letter back down on the desk. She slid to the floor and buried her head in her hands.

The letter had been, beautiful. That was the only word the came to mind at the moment. But It was other things too, like heartfelt, and sincere. And formal as well. If someone asked Isabelle to describe Alec in one word, she would say formal.

She lifted her head from her hands abruptly. She thought back to the letter. Alec had wrote something about not sending it. How could he not send such a beautiful and heartfelt letter? She stood up from her spot on the floor and took the letter off of the desk. She was about to walk out of the room when Alec mumbled something.

"Magnus?" He muttered quietly, and then went back to snoring lightly.

Isabelle chuckled softly. She didn't know her brother talked in his sleep, let alone talked about _Magnus_. She walked out of the room swiftly, and walked down the stairs to the kitchen were she knew some envelopes were to.

When she walked down into the kitchen, she went straight to the cupboard where the envelopes were to. She took one out and placed the letter in it gently. She wrote Magnus' name on the front and sealed the envelope.

She walked quietly of of the kitchen, and down the hall, then out of the Institute. She knew she shouldn't be out as late as this, but this was pretty important. Well in her mind it was. As she made her way to the warlocks apartment, she pondered his relationship with Alec. Or lack of. She knew, from the moment the warlocks eyes landed upon Alec, he was instantly interested in him. So if he was so interested in Alec, then why not make a bigger move than giving him his number? It didn't make sense to Isabelle.

She walked until she came to the front step of the warlocks apartment. She stuffed the letter into his mailbox and took off at a sprint, back to the Institute. She ran until she came in sight of it again. Even though she was a very skilled shadowhunter, capable of killing someone or something with even her shoe, she felt on edge walking around in the city at night. So she rushed into the Institute and ran up to her room. When she was about to pass Alec's room, she stopped and opened the door, and peaked inside.

Alec was still fast asleep in his bed, his face was composed of a peaceful and calm expression. He sighed lightly, almost wistfully, and turned over to his other side. Again, Isabelle chuckled and left the room and went to her own.

When she was in her own room, she kicked off the high heeled boots she had been wearing and flopped down onto her bed, not bothering to change into pajamas. Just sleeping in the skinny jeans and long sleeved shirt was good enough for one night, she decided.

She closed her eyes and let sleep take her.

Alec awoke the next morning with the newly risen sun beaming in his face. He groaned and pulled the blankets above his head. He didn't want to get up, but he knew he had to. So with a sigh he slipped out of the bed and walked over to his desk, where he left the letter.

When he saw that the letter wasn't there anymore, his heart stopped and his blood ran cold. He could have sworn on the angel that he left it on the desktop the night before. But, now it wasn't there. Where could it have gone to? He started to panic and started to search around his bare room for it.

After much searching, the letter still hadn't shown up. He sank to the bedroom floor and placed his head in his hands. How could he have been so stupid, and lose it? That letter contained every feeling he had for the Warlock. And now, anyone could have read it. Even Jace. And that thought just made Alec sick to his stomach.

He didn't even realize someone opened the door and came in, until Isabelle's voice sounded through the room. He felt one of her arms being flung over his shoulder.

"Alec? What's wrong?" She asked.

"It's gone" Was all he could choke out.

"What's gone, Alec?" She asked, confusion evident in her voice.

"I-I wrote a letter to.. someone last night. I hadn't intended to send it, it was just something to vent my feelings out on. And, I left it on my desk last night before going to bed. But now its not there anymore" Alec explained to Isabelle, in a rush.

Alec heard Isabelle, gasp a little. He lifted his head and saw that fear was clear in her blue-gray eyes. And not a lot of times is Isabelle ever scared. He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"A-Alec, was this letter perhaps written to Magnus Bane?" She asked.

He hung his head and fiddled with his hands. "Maybe.."

Suddenly, Isabelle had Alec in a death grip that she liked to call a 'hug'. He patted her on the back awkwardly. And tried to breathe as best as he could.

"Isabelle, whats going on?" He asked.

"I may have sent the letter to Magnus.." She said quietly.

"What?" Alec asked, there was a hurt and betrayed tone in his voice.

"I'm so sorry Alec! If I had known that you didn't want it to be sent, I wouldn't have sent it" Isabelle said in an apologetic voice.

"Isabelle, can you please leave?" Alec asked in a very calm voice.

Isabelle didn't say anything. She got up from the floor and walked out of his room silently. Now it was time for Alec to actually start panicking for real. He got up from the floor and ran about the room, getting clothes to dress in.

He pulled off his pajamas and tugged on jeans and a t-shirt. He pulled on a pair of socks and shoved his feet into his black combat boots. He threw on a sweater and rand out the door, forgetting his stele and dagger.

He ran down the stairs of the Institute and down the hall, then out the door and down the road. He knew exactly where he was going to. And hopefully, if he got there in time, Magnus had not yet read the letter. All he could do now was hope.

Magnus woke up considerably early. He stretched languidly for a moment and turned and saw Chairman Meow's face close to his own. He chuckled and reached over to scratch the kittens ears. Chairman Meow purred happily and rubbed his head against the palm of Magnus' hand.

Magnus flicked the covers off of him and sat up. He yawned, and got up from his over sized bed. He stuffed his feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers and walked out of his room.

He walked out the door of his apartment and walked down the rickety steps. He stepped out of the porch and checked his mail box. He pulled out all the little envelopes and walked back inside. On his way upstairs, he was flipping through the letters.

_Bill, clients asking for something, another bill.. oh, what is this?_ He thought as he took the letter that had Magnus Bane written on the envelope in neat cursive.

With a flick of his wrist the door to his apartment opened and he stepped back inside. He flicked all the mail, minus one letter, and sat on the couch. Chairman Meow jumped up onto his lap. Magnus chuckled softly.

"Cuddly today, aren't you?" He asked the cat, affectionately.

Chairman Meow purred loudly and rubbed his head against Magnus' chest. Magnus pat his little cat's head and pushed aside softly so he could get the letter opened. Once he had the letter opened, he started to read.

As he read the letter, his heart sped up a little and his eyes widened. Magnus couldn't believe that the blue eyed shadowhunter actually wrote something this heartfelt to him. Even though the letter was clearly for him, something bugged Magnus. It felt as though he had just read something that was personal. Something that shouldn't have been read. Like someone's diary or journal.

As he sat and thought about the words Alexander had written, the doorbell rang. Magnus was taken out from his thoughts. He scowled at the buzzer. But he got up and went to see who it was anyway. He pressed down on the button to the intercom.

"Who is it? Its my day off" He said irritably.

"Hey, Its me. Alec" Alexander said awkwardly.

"Oh? Well, come up then" Magnus replied and pressed the button to allow Alexander in.

He waited for a few minutes and then there was a slight knocking at the door. For some reason, unknown to him, Magnus felt extremely nervous at that moment. What was he suppose to do after reading that beautiful letter?

So, with a deep breath he walked over to the door and opened it. When he opened the door, there stood Alexander Lightwood. In all his shadowhunter glory. He was wearing the usual black to gray sweater and worn jeans and black boots. But to Magnus, he had never looked better. Even though, the young man had no fashion sense at all Magnus thought he was still the most beautiful and gorgeous thing to look at. He smiled at Alec, who in return smiled back awkwardly.

"Come in" Magnus breathed.

Alec blushed a little, and stepped inside. When Alec was inside, Magnus shut the door and turned to Alec. He walked over to Alec and wrapped his arms shyly around his waist. Alec made a strange sound, but didn't object. Magnus leaned his head down and captured the younger man's lips in a kiss. Alec was surprised at first but relaxed into the kiss. They stood like that for a few minutes. But soon, Magnus broke the kiss and placed a gentle and loving one on Alec's forehead. He then looked into Alec's clear, blue eyes.

"That letter that you sent me, was beautiful" Magnus whispered.

Alec's face turned into a look of shock and embarrassment. "You read it?"

"Yes, and I loved it" Magnus replied.

"I just wrote that, so I could show you what I couldn't say" Alec explained shyly.

"It was wonderful" Magnus said simply.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

There was a comfortable silence after that. They just stood in the middle of the living room, wrapped up in each others arms. Magnus occasionally placed a kiss on Alec's neck, and at that Alec would blush brightly which would make Magnus chuckled lightly.

Alec broke the silence first. "Just so you know, I'd bleed my heart out just for you."

"Oh? Well, that's good. Because you done that about twice now.." Magnus said with an airy laugh.

"Huh?"

"Remember the greater demon attack? And just now" Magnus explained.

"Oh. Well, I guess I have" Alec said with another blush.

Magnus looked at Alec for a few moments before grinning slightly.

"God, you're cute" He said.

Alec rolled his eyes but didn't say anything, instead he leaned up and kissed Magnus. Magnus let his eyes flutter close and bring Alec closer.

And at that moment, Alec realized that bleeding your heart out for someone could be helpful after all.

_A/n: Okay, crappy ending is all I can say! Its just so stupid! I didn't know how to conclude this thing.. so I ended up with this! I hope you guys don't think its horrible and stupid! _

_Oh, and starting Thursday I won't be able to update for five days.. so I'll be on a temporary hiatus until I get back! But I hope to have loads of inspiration by the time I get home! _

_So anyway, _

_Review?_

_Chantelle oxo _


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